


even the losers

by taetaetiger (sexyvanillatiger)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, Knotting, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:46:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexyvanillatiger/pseuds/taetaetiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about a good alpha is that Yifan has never had one, and he doesn’t know what he would do if he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	even the losers

Sometimes, Yifan forgets he's gone off suppressants. He was on them for so long that it's just natural to assume that nobody can tell he's an omega. And honestly, Yifan loves the way he feels without them; no longer prey to biannual phases of depression around his heats, no longer embarrassed over his body's unpredictable sexual response, no longer hating how he never smelled like himself. But even if he loves himself, hiding is a tough habit to break.

When Yifan made the decision to go off suppressants, he expected the opposite. He thought that he would constantly be aware of himself, constantly looking over his shoulder, embarrassed about it. Obvious, even with his guard up. True, he's spent half of his life putting up a front, a wall so tall and thick that even his mother sometimes has trouble scaling it. And the first couple of weeks after he went off, he did spend a lot of time warily watching others. Expecting to see scornful glances cast his way. Expecting to be discovered. Recognized.

What really happened is this: Yifan would walk into a room, and people would glance around, looking for the omega. Very rarely do people seem to realize it's him. His walls are still up, this is true; hiding is a hard habit to break. But without his height, his breadth, the sharpness of his jaw, the fire in his eyes, those walls would be little more than fence posts. He looks like an alpha; nobody looks to a wolf when they hear a puppy.

That said, Yifan is off suppressants and he still gets propositioned by other omegas a lot. He used to be kind about it. Back then, there was absolutely no way to tell. Now, though, his leniency has all but dried up. He doesn't mind omegas that like other omegas, but that's just not how he swings, and sometimes, it almost feels deliberate how he never has a choice of alphas. So he doesn't go to bars until he's desperate, until the very next alpha will do. Even when they think that he'll be a fighter (and he's not), even when they think he'll like it rough (and he doesn't), even when they think that he's strong enough to take whatever they give him (and he can't), he does get desperate.

So he sits at the bar, two seats away from his nearest neighbors, scouring the press every once in awhile but mostly just staring down into his drink. He's run through his patience for the night. Only three alphas have even bothered with him tonight. Two bowed out when they found out he's not a beta and the third tried to take him in the bathrooms, which almost caused a commotion. Yifan is glad to have avoided that.

Now, he's bitter and jilted there are a lot of scents cloying around, muddying his mind, and he's wondering if he should just throw in the towel and call it a night when somebody takes the buffer seat to his left. Orders a cuba libre with no lime and turns to look at him while the bartender sets to mixing.

He looks sweet, Yifan thinks. Young. Full in face and eyes and lips. Narrow shoulders, not very tall. Mostly, he looks interested. Yifan sneers and turns away, but the boy doesn't relent. "Why are you over here by yourself?" he asks, his voice deep in spite of his soft features. Yifan suppresses a shudder.

"I don't do omegas," he snaps. He's already been propositioned by two since he got to the bar, and he's not going to strike out on three.

The boy just stares him down, brow raising in unmasked judgment. Yifan frowns, inhaling deeply and realizing. _Oh_. "You're…," he says, but doesn't manage to finish his thought. His face heats up and he clears his throat, turning his gaze back down to his drink. The bartender senses the tension when he places the alpha's drink down, taking his money ( _keep the change_ ) and leaving them quickly even though Yifan thinks he would have liked another round, if only to drown himself in his embarrassment. If his stature doesn't turn alphas away on the spot, his absent gentility and rowdy charm usually do the trick.

But the man doesn't leave. He sips his drink, watching Yifan intently, and Yifan hesitantly spins his barstool so that he is turned insignificantly to towards the man. Offering himself, he thinks distantly. _Please say something else_ , he thinks more presently.

"You didn't answer my question," the man says at length. "Are you here alone?" Yifan just nods, worried that if he opens his mouth again, he'll ruin this, and it's too late in the evening to start all over again. "That's a shame. You're too pretty to be here by yourself." The man leans forward, placing his small hand on Yifan's knee. "What's your name?"

"Yifan," he croaks, his voice tight. His body is thrumming with interest so deeply and quickly that it's almost dizzying. He wonders if the alpha can sense it.

"Yifan, I'm Kyungsoo. I'd like to take you home tonight."

Kyungsoo doesn't live very far. They're still in the downtown area when he parks in the lot of a very tall apartment complex, and Yifan steps out of the car anxiously, fingers tapping against his thigh as Kyungsoo leads the way to the elevator.

Kyungsoo watches him, his fidgeting, the way he stares at the ground. Any other alpha would tease him for it. Uneasiness doesn't suit someone as big as he is. Kyungsoo doesn't laugh, though. He reaches out and takes Yifan's trembling hand, smoothing a thumb over his knuckles. Yifan wants to tell him, _I'm fine_ , but he doesn't say anything. Kyungsoo smiles at him, a kind smile, and Yifan can do little more than smile back.

Yifan assumes that they will take immediately to the bedroom, so when Kyungsoo leads him into a living room and drops down onto the couch, he stands awkwardly in the middle of the room waiting for instruction. Kyungsoo smirks at him, seeming amused, and he pats his lap. "Come here."

Yifan goes. He crawls onto the small seat of Kyungsoo's thighs, balancing himself with his hands on the back of the couch, and Kyungsoo trails his fingers up Yifan's sides. He shivers, mouth parting to ease out a small breath, and Kyungsoo zeroes in on his lips. Yifan moans at the attention, biting down on his bottom lip just for show. Kyungsoo doesn't let him get away with it. He hauls Yifan close, their mouths crashing together passionately.

Yifan groans and ruts down against Kyungsoo, his hands curled into fists against the couch. He's so hard already, has been since they walked in the door, and he hopes Kyungsoo can feel it. Hopes he feels proud, hopes he decides to take what's his. Yifan opens to him completely, not even fretting over whether or not Kyungsoo will be the type of alpha who mocks him for being so easy, so submissive.

Kyungsoo reaches down and palms him through his jeans, finding the bulge of Yifan's cock and pressing down against it just enough to have him squirming. "God, you're so ready for it," he moans against Yifan's mouth. "Do you want me to take care of you?"

"Yes," Yifan sobs, melting against Kyungsoo as he does. It's all he wants, the only thing he can think about right now. He moves his hands from the back of the couch to Kyungsoo's biceps, which protrude obscenely from the sleeves of his t-shirt. Yifan can feel the power there, how the muscles harden slowly and deliberately, Kyungsoo showing off his strength. They stretch beneath Yifan's palms when Kyungsoo reaches down to squeeze his ass, tugging him forward and grinding their hips together. Yifan whines, spreading his legs further in a show of submission. He pleads incoherently, by now too far gone to bother with words.

Kyungsoo rolls him off with a buck of his hips. Yifan falls to the couch whining, dejected for the briefest moment before Kyungsoo climbs over on top of him, their lips crashing together to silence his pleas. He tips up into it, rocking up into Kyungsoo's hand when it closes over the front of his jeans. " _Kyungsoo_ ," he begs, his voice weak with arousal. Kyungsoo's gaze darkens when he speaks, and he growls, the vibrations of it thrumming straight through to Yifan's core.

"I was going to take my time with you," Kyungsoo says, standing up before Yifan can grab hold of him. "I was going to make you fall apart one finger at a time before you even got off this couch." Yifan rises on his elbows, breathing heavily. Kyungsoo grabs him by the front of his shirt and yanks him up. Yifan stumbles but follows when Kyungsoo leads him towards the hallway across the room. One of its open doors reveals a sliver of a bedroom.

"I didn't think you would be so impatient," Kyungsoo continues. "It's almost like you've been waiting for me. Have you been waiting for me, Yifan?"

Yifan tears his eyes away from their destination to look back down at Kyungsoo. " _Yes_ ," he breathes, the word little more than a whisper.

"How long has it been since you've been fucked by an alpha?"

The question hurts in ways that Yifan wouldn't expect it to, coming from the sweet thing still guiding him. He drops his gaze to the floor, his face heating up, and Kyungsoo croons, letting go of his shirt to caress his cheek. Kyungsoo pulls him close, forcing Yifan to lean down when they kiss. It's softer this time, and Kyungsoo tells him, "Let me take care of you tonight." Yifan wants him to, more than anything he's ever wanted from an alpha before.

The bed is soft when Kyungsoo lowers him down onto it. He doesn't push him down like other alphas have, doesn't drag him up to the headboard, doesn't force his legs apart with prying hands. Kyungsoo holds his face and kisses him so deeply that Yifan can feel it in his gut, the thrill of it curling down towards his groin. Kyungsoo fingers at the fastenings of Yifan's jeans. Yifan lets him take care of it.

Kyungsoo fondles him lovingly, his fingers caressing Yifan through the thin layer of his boxers. He bucks up into the touch, whining and gasping. When he reaches to pull at Kyungsoo's clothing, Kyungsoo takes him by the wrists, lowering his hands back down before continuing his handling. He works Yifan out of his jeans first, and then starts pushing his shirt away. Yifan pulls it off while Kyungsoo draws his boxers down, down his long legs, off to the side. Yifan is completely naked beneath Kyungsoo, who has only taken off his jacket since getting home.

He moves to cover himself but Kyungsoo stops him, pushing his hands out of the way. Not doing anything else, just staring. There's a fine tremor in the muscles of Yifan's thighs, his fingers closing into fists and opening back up again anxiously. His face feels like it's on fire, and all for Kyungsoo, who isn't staring at him like he's dessert. He's got a look in his eyes, the kind that people get in art museums. The captivation in someone's face when they stop at a painting and can't break away again. It's intimidating, how focused Kyungsoo is. Yifan squirms, and Kyungsoo finally looks back up into his eyes.

"How…," he starts, but doesn't finish. He pulls his shirt up over his head, his chest small but his arms thick, bending over and searing Yifan with a kiss. Yifan submits to it immediately, even though he usually likes it when his alphas work for it.

Kyungsoo holds his weight on one arm, not even trembling with the exertion of leaning down low above Yifan. The other is down at the fastenings of his jeans, and as soon as Yifan hears the sound of his zipper, he slides his hand between them, grasping Kyungsoo's cock through the thin material of his boxers. He moans into Yifan's mouth, rutting down against the heel of his palm.

"Yes, Yifan," Kyungsoo breathes, leaning in to devour Yifan in another kiss. He drags this one down Yifan's throat, biting at his chest and nipples until he's squirming and pushing Kyungsoo away. Kyungsoo leaves red marks littered across Yifan's flat abdomen as he kicks his way out of his pants, finally getting his mouth to Yifan's cock before passing it up altogether.

"Kyungsoo," Yifan whines, digging his head back against the mattress. Kyungsoo laughs somewhere down between his legs and pushes his thighs open, running his hands up and down the sensitive flesh along the inside. Yifan is left feeling raw, like an exposed nerve even before Kyungsoo leans in and breathes against his hole. He twists, but Kyungsoo has an alpha's grip on his thighs and he can't go very far. "Please," he moans, curling his fingers into the bedsheets.

Kyungsoo looks up at him, his smile sweet. His big eyes give him an appearance of innocence that Yifan doesn't trust for a second. "Please what?" he asks, rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles against the tense muscles of Yifan's legs.

"Please, need it," he groans back, turning his face to hide it in the mattress.

"Need what?" Yifan lifts his eyes only enough to glare at Kyungsoo, who remains unaffected. "Just tell me. Tell me whatever you want me to do to you, and I'll do it."

Yifan flushes deeply, turning his face away again. He mumbles when he speaks, but Kyungsoo is anticipating his request anyways, so when he whimpers out a humiliated, "Please eat me out," Kyungsoo commences immediately, with only a huffed _So good for me_ between his tongue and Yifan's rim.

Yifan arches into him, pushing his ass up towards Kyungsoo's face, and Kyungsoo buries himself in it. He wraps his arms around Yifan's thighs to hold them open, and he licks so deeply and lovingly into Yifan that his cock beads continuously with pre-ejaculate, dripping down into messy puddles on his stomach. He feels endlessly on the verge of coming, an uncomfortably euphoric sensation, and he's almost incoherent when Kyungsoo finally leans back to take a deep breath.

The scent of Yifan's arousal hangs like a fog in the room, thicker the wetter he gets. It saturates the humid air around them, and it's getting to Kyungsoo. Yifan can see it in the dilation of his pupils, the quickened rise and fall of his chest, the flush spreading over his face and neck. Yifan licks his lips and Kyungsoo follows the movement with his eyes. He leans forward and Yifan lets Kyungsoo slide his tongue into his mouth, the press of him behind his teeth and the taste of himself in his mouth sufficiently distracting from the first sharp stretch of fingers pressing into his slick hole.

Kyungsoo doesn't burn daylight with his preparation. He works efficiently, easing four fingers in with rapid succession. Yifan tilts his hips up, desperate to take Kyungsoo's thumb next, but Kyungsoo doesn't give it to him. He pulls his fingers free before sliding up between Yifan's legs. He stretches himself above Yifan, reaching into the first drawer of the bedside table for a condom, and all the while, his thick length drags against Yifan's stomach, solid and heavy and hot. Yifan reaches down to stroke it, smiling when Kyungsoo casts him a withering look. He's struggling with the condom wrapper; Yifan feels solely responsible for that.

He gets the condom on quickly, batting Yifan's hand out of the way. Yifan reaches down and spreads his hole for Kyungsoo, who bites his lip when he sees it. "God, Yifan," he groans, pumping himself through the latex one last time before sliding in.

Kyungsoo is big. After four fingers, Yifan can still feel the strain of the stretch, all-consuming and painful at the periphery. His body is crying for caution. Yifan puts his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders and squeezes his eyes shut, breathing his way through it, and Kyungsoo, unlike any other alpha Yifan has known, waits for him. He pushes a stray lock of hair out of Yifan's sweaty face, his soft lips kissing along the line of his jaw.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Yifan nods, flushing with embarrassment. "Yes," he chokes out, "you're just…"

Kyungsoo smiles. "I know. Tell me when you're ready."

He breathes his way through it, deeply and consciously until he doesn't hurt anymore. He lies back against the comforter, wrapping his legs up around Kyungsoo's small hips. "Okay," he says, and Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows. "I'm ready."

Kyungsoo takes his word for it. He rolls his hips gently at first, as though testing the waters, and then he fucks down more definitively when Yifan proves that he can take it. Yifan cries out and clings to him, bracing one hand against the bed frame to steady himself. Kyungsoo rails him deep and steady, but his thrusts are powerful and his girth is formidable and Yifan has never felt so thoroughly fucked in his entire life. He whines like the omega he is, something he never thought any alpha could reduce him to. Kyungsoo just growls, drowning him in kisses that swallow up the embarrassing noises he makes.

When Yifan feels close to coming, Kyungsoo slows down, almost to the point of stopping. Yifan slumps bonelessly into the mattress, brow furrowed in frustration. Kyungsoo caresses his taut features, asking him quietly, "Can I knot you?"

Yifan props himself up on his elbows. He spreads his legs to get a better view, and Kyungsoo even pulls out a little so that Yifan can see it. The knot is fitting, given Kyungsoo's size. It almost looks strange on an alpha so small, but Yifan knows better by now than to underestimate Kyungsoo. He looks up into the alpha's face, chewing his lip nervously.

"It's been a long time," he says by way of answering.

"It's okay if you don't want me to."

Yifan closes his eyes because that's not what he's trying to say at all. "I mean, I don't want you not to…"

When he opens his eyes again, Kyungsoo is watching him curiously. "Can you say that again?"

Yifan groans. "I _do_ want it…but…it's—"

"Big," Kyungsoo supplies. "You don't have to say you want it just because you think it will make me happy."

"That's not it," Yifan snaps. Kyungsoo smiles down at him, seeming tickled by the outburst. He cards his fingers through Yifan's hair, letting Yifan submit to him.

"So can I?" he asks again, and Yifan takes a deep breath before answering.

"Yes."

Kyungsoo presses his lips to Yifan's throat, mouthing at the skin there. "I'll be careful," he says, rocking his hips forward again. He starts slow, with fluid, rolling thrusts. Yifan takes his cock in his hand, stroking himself when he feels the solid heat of the knot meeting his rim. Kyungsoo lets him; he works Yifan up to it, pushing a little harder with every thrust until it becomes clear that coaxing just isn't going to do it. Kyungsoo looks into Yifan's eyes, and Yifan just whimpers out a strained, " _Do it_ ," before bracing himself against the headboard.

With one resolute shove, Kyungsoo thrusts it inside, and Yifan reels with the sensation of being stretched to his limits. His hand speeds up on his cock, his whines escalating in pitch, stomach tautening with his imminent orgasm, but Kyungsoo bats his hand away. "Don't," he says, his voice rough and ragged. "Don't come yet."

"Why?" Yifan manages weakly, warily, the haze of lust beginning to dissipate in his head. Kyungsoo must realize this. He leans down to trail kisses from Yifan's mouth to the shell of his ear. His tongue flicks out, and Yifan's hips buck at the feeling.

"Just trust me," he says, his voice lower yet. A deep rumble against Yifan's skin. He whimpers, arousal flooding him like the crash of a waterfall. "Pace yourself," Kyungsoo continues, his lips dragging down the long column of Yifan's throat. "You're going to be on my knot all night."

It doesn't take much after that. Yifan groans, thinking about it. Kyungsoo holding him open until sunrise, fucking him in every position, using him up. His fantasies have him tightening, rolling down against Kyungsoo, the knot moving inside of him, and he comes like that: rushed and untouched. It's embarrassing and exhilarating, the greatest thing that's ever happened to him until he opens his eyes and registers the surprise on Kyungsoo's face. His throat is too dry to use, his tongue too thick for words, but he tries anyways. "I—this is—I don't normally," he stammers, but Kyungsoo smiles and kisses him, dragging his mouth down to Yifan's throat.

"God, Yifan, that was so hot," he groans, and Yifan feels his cock stirring. He thinks it must be Kyungsoo's voice. "I didn't know you could do that."

"Me neither," Yifan admits, turning his head to mouth lazily at Kyungsoo's hairline. Kyungsoo lifts his head and nuzzles him, rolling his hips slowly. Yifan gasps, reaching up to hold onto Kyungsoo's arms.

"I can pull out," he offers, tongue flicking out against Yifan's jaw. "If you're done. I can finish on you, instead."

Yifan groans aloud at the idea, eyes fluttering shut, but he shakes his head. "No, please, just—just give me a minute." That's all it will take, at this rate. Kyungsoo's scent is filling his head, more powerful and more exhilarating even than the cock filling him down below. He rolls his hips down into it, breathing deeply, his body valiantly rising to the challenge as he strokes himself. Kyungsoo laughs when he looks down and sees that Yifan is almost ready to go again, but it's not a derisive laugh. He sounds almost impressed.

"God, you're so good for me," he says, rocking his hips against the small curls of Yifan's gyrating. "I'll take care of you, since you've been so good." Yifan whines, clenching his fingers in the bedsheets, and Kyungsoo twists his hips in ways that Yifan didn't know were possible. Alphas don't care once they've got the knot in, alphas don't bother. Yifan has never met an alpha who knew how to pleasure an omega after knotting, nor one who wanted to.

But Kyungsoo is driving him crazy, the pressure on his prostate so perfect and relentless, and Yifan didn't even have a refractory period like this outside of his heat when he was sixteen. It's always taken more for him, he's always been a little underwhelmed with the efforts of his lovers, but he has to push his hands against Kyungsoo's hips to get him to stop moving.

"Can't—please—fuck—" he chokes out, and Kyungsoo watches him steadily.

"I wonder how many times I can make you come on my knot," he murmurs, as though to himself, but it leaves Yifan gasping and writhing in the sheets. Kyungsoo continues to rut against him, biting his neck and chest. When he comes again, it is both better and worse.

The answer is three. Yifan comes on Kyungsoo's knot three times before the alpha even comes once, and by then, he's dried out and over-sensitized and crying in Kyungsoo's arms. Kyungsoo is grinding into him relentlessly, biting his lip hard, knocking the bed frame against the wall hard enough that Yifan is worried about the integrity of the plaster. He feels it inside of him when Kyungsoo finishes, the pulse of his cock palpable even through the condom. He moans at the feeling, grinding back down and earning a sharp cry of pleasure from Kyungsoo.

"Oh my god," Kyungsoo says when he collapses down against Yifan's chest.

Yifan just whimpers, too exhausted to say any more.

Kyungsoo leans up enough to kiss him, his self-assured presence comforting. "Stay the night," he says. "It's going to be too late to go home by the time we can get up." Yifan wiggles his hips, and sure enough, Kyungsoo's knot is still full and fast inside of him. He stretches his legs out to give his hips a break, and Kyungsoo even kneads the tired muscles in his thighs for him. The soft darkness of the room around him and the lackluster hum of post-midnight downtown traffic weigh down Yifan's eyelids, which slide shut before Kyungsoo can even pull out.

 

Yifan wakes to find Kyungsoo on his respective side of the bed with the covers drawn up over both of them. When he pulls them up and looks down at himself, he finds that he's been cleaned. He reaches down to press a finger against his hole; both inside and out. Yifan glances over at Kyungsoo, who lies with his back towards him, and his heart drums nervously.

This is the kind of alpha Yifan would fight for, if he only knew how.

He slips out of bed and into the bathroom, cracking the door as he relieves himself. A small window snug against the ceiling lets in just enough morning sun to show Yifan that his skin looks fine despite skipping his evening cleansing ritual; he even looks a bit glowing. Something about a good alpha, his mother used to tell him. It's the fountain of youth.

When he opens the door again, he finds Kyungsoo on his back, head tilted so that he can see Yifan, appraising him upon entrance. Yifan freezes, surprised, and Kyungsoo slowly starts to sit up. "How are you feeling?" he asks.

Hesitantly, Yifan approaches the bed, crawling in and sliding into Kyungsoo's arms when they open up for him. It's an awkward fit, his legs hanging out awkwardly behind him because he's too long to completely fit against Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo, a good alpha, makes him feel small and protected all the same.

"Good," he says. He's sore, but he likes it. He's embarrassed, but Kyungsoo makes him feel like he shouldn't be. His pulse is thrumming nervously in his abdomen, but it makes him feel young again. When Kyungsoo kisses him chastely, neither of them take the initiative to break it, and it culminates in Kyungsoo taking Yifan one last time before he leaves, kind enough to withhold from knotting him again. Even so, Yifan's legs feel flimsy by the time he's walking out of Kyungsoo's apartment, only his cell number left behind.

 

Kyungsoo takes a couple days to text him, and when he does, it's during lunchtime. Yixing and Minseok are out grabbing something to eat, leaving Yifan and Zitao to oversee the kids' lunch. Yifan sets down his sandwich to assist a child who's just recently started to pick up solid foods while Zitao, without even looking away from his phone screen, threatens a little boy who is inches away from starting a food fight.

When Kyungsoo finally texts him, he wants to know what Yifan is doing on Friday night. Normally, Yifan would be going out with his friends, or by himself if he were trying to bring home an alpha. Now that he's got one he wants to keep, his answer is _nothing_.

Zitao catches him smiling at his phone and refuses to relent until he's heard the whole story. Yifan censors it as much as possible because Zitao has a little girl sitting in his lap, staring up at him raptly as he goes through the whole night, but Zitao seems to understand.

He encourages Yifan, who is apprehensive to respond when Kyungsoo asks to take him out. The memory of his last date with an alpha isn't so distant that it's completely irretrievable, but neither is the memory of how that alpha left him because people stare when an alpha's omega is two inches taller than him. Zitao, who has never been mistaken for an alpha despite his sharp eyes and substantial build, waves Yifan's worries off carelessly.

"You're just trying to find an excuse to justify your commitment issues," he says with a huff, setting his phone aside in favor of braiding the little girl's hair.

"That must be easy to say when you've already got a good alpha at home."

"That's not the point," Zitao remarks cheekily. "The point is that you _could_ have a good alpha in _your_ home if you would just stop playing around."

Yifan groans, dropping his head into his hands. "But I actually like this one. How do I know if he's serious?"

Zitao rolls his eyes. "By going on the date and finding out for yourself."

 

On Tuesday, Yixing and Minseok take over the daycare during lunch, and Zitao and Yifan get to go out. Zitao is mumbling a list of possible outfits for Yifan's date on Friday, and Yifan is staring at the ground trying not to hear him, even though he probably should. Zitao is good with alphas. Zitao always knows what to say and what to wear and how to be cute and small even though he's tall and strong and sharp-looking. Yifan, who is big and bumbling and often not very cute at all, should definitely be listening.

Yifan leads the way into a sandwich shop, Zitao's choice of lunch. The bell overhead tinkles as it catches on the door. Yifan pulls up short. "Oh, no." Zitao stumbles right into him, knocking them both over the threshold. Yifan catches the door before it can close, forestalling the inevitable ringing when it catches the bell again on its way back. Yifan tries to urge Zitao back outside, but Zitao leans forward instead, hooking his chin over Yifan's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"That's him," Yifan hisses, tilting his head towards the group of alphas in the back of the crowded shop.

"That's who?"

"The alpha."

Zitao perks considerably when Yifan says this. He peers over, too obvious, and Yifan elbows him. They step through the door, the bell jostling as it closes, but Yifan shoves them into the crowded line before they can be spotted. "Which one is he?" Zitao asks, still craning to see.

Yifan lifts his head long enough to see him, then ducking back down after he says, "The one in the bow tie."

Zitao's gasp of surprise is irritating and altogether too loud in Yifan's ears. Even over the hum of chatter in the café, he's certain that Kyungsoo will hear them. "Oh my god, he's tiny," Zitao says, lifting up onto the balls of his feet to get a better view. Yifan grabs him by the back of his neck and pulls him down, drawing a cry of protest.

"I _told_ you he was short."

"Yeah, I thought you meant short compared to you. And why are we hiding? I thought you liked him."

Yifan sighs and lightens his grip on Zitao's neck. "I do, but that doesn't—"

"Yifan?"

Yifan straightens immediately, releasing Zitao so fast that the younger omega stumbles a little bit. Kyungsoo has to tilt his head back to peer up at both of them, and Zitao shoots Yifan a pointed smile that he only catches out of the corner of his eye. Kyungsoo sees it and sends Zitao a very unimpressed look, and to Yifan's surprise, it actually quells the sass.

"Kyungsoo," he replies a beat too late. "I didn't realize you were eating here."

"Really?" Kyungsoo's eyes narrow with amusement. "I thought our table was right in view from the door."

"Oh," Yifan croaks, flushing. Zitao is staring up at the menu overhanging the register to avoid watching this exchange. "We must have missed it." Zitao coughs loudly and pulls out his phone.

Calmly and kindly, Kyungsoo tells him, "That's okay. Why don't you two come sit with us when you've finished ordering?"

"Oh, uh, we actually have to get back. To work. We're getting our food to go." Yifan can see Zitao looking at him sharply out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn't say anything, and for that, Yifan is grateful.

Kyungsoo nods in understanding, and Yifan can't tell if he looks disappointed or not. He isn't sure which he would prefer. "That's a shame. Though I guess it's good, since it saves you from having to meet those assholes." Kyungsoo gestures over his shoulder towards the other three alphas at his table, who are currently trying to use an opened mayonnaise packet for table football. "Am I still picking you up on Friday?"

Yifan starts, glancing nervously at Zitao and then back at Kyungsoo. "Yes," he manages, sounding and probably looking very pained by the admission even though he isn't. He's proud of it. He's excited. Kyungsoo watches him skeptically for a moment, and Yifan says it again, sounding much more relaxed. He even throws in a polite _sorry_ without being certain of what he's apologizing for. Kyungsoo just smiles. It looks a little bit dangerous, but Yifan thinks that it's just his face.

"Okay. Good. Don't work yourself too hard." With that, he retreats to his table. While his back is still turned to them, Zitao punches Yifan in the shoulder so hard that he almost falls over. He bites his lip to keep from crying out, rounding on Zitao like he could even get one hit in if he tried.

" _What_?" he snarls.

" _Taking our food to go_? Really, Yifan?" Zitao hisses.

"I panicked!"

Zitao rolls his eyes spectacularly. "You're unbelievable. You _like_ him, why would you try so hard to get away from him? What kind of omega are you?"

Yifan flushes deeply, his usual scowl deepened with umbrage. "A bad one," he snaps, shouldering past Zitao to the register. The girl who takes his order trembles the entire time, even though he tries to smile for her. He wonders if she can even scent him, his pheromones docile and subtle. Probably not, or she wouldn't look so scared. When Yifan glances over his shoulder at Zitao, his friend has an almost sad look on his face. Yifan sighs, pays for his sandwich, and waits for Zitao outside.

The bell over the door jingles and Yifan turns, expecting to see Zitao, not Kyungsoo. The alpha approaches him slowly, tentatively, and Yifan just sags back against the wall. "You seemed upset, back in there," he says, reaching out to take Yifan's hand.

"It's nothing," Yifan tells him, but he gives himself over too quickly. Kyungsoo strokes his thumb over Yifan's knuckles, watching him for a long moment. When Yifan doesn't say anything, Kyungsoo steps closer, crowding him against the wall.

"I can still smell myself on you," he says, quiet enough that the people passing on the street can't hear him. Yifan balks, his hand tightening around Kyungsoo's. Kyungsoo smiles. "You smell really good when you smell like me." He presses a quick kiss to Yifan's slack mouth before stepping back inside with an unaffected, "I'll see you on Friday."

Zitao steps out just after, staring wide-eyed at Yifan. He looks like he might say something, but Yifan shoots him a withering look and he closes his mouth. When they get back to the daycare, Zitao pulls him back by his sleeve before he can enter. On the doorsteps, he says, "You can't be that bad of an omega if you've got the attention of an alpha like him."

 _I don't have him yet_ , Yifan doesn't say, because this is probably as close to an apology as Zitao gets.

 

On Thursday night, Yixing physically has to wrestle Yifan's phone away from him to keep him from canceling his date. Lu Han hides it somewhere in his apartment and Zitao just sits there rubbing his back soothingly. In that moment, he very much so hates his three friends because they don't understand that some things just aren't meant to be. Yifan should have never been an omega, he should have never been given a life where he would have to deal with alphas, he should just give up now and buy a cottage by the sea where it won't matter if he's single until he's dead.

"What are you so afraid of?" Zitao asks, wrapping himself tightly around Yifan's back. "Kyungsoo is nothing like those other alphas. I saw how he acted on Tuesday. He'll be good to you."

Yifan just curls up and whines, his stomach tight with anxiety. Yixing sits down in front of him, his dazed, dimpled smile not as calming as it usually is. "Besides, you really like him. Don't you think you deserve this chance to be happy?"

Yifan lifts his head, shrugging because he does want it. He wants a good alpha so bad. It's just hard because sometimes it's impossible to tell a good alpha from a bad one until his heart has already been broken. Lu Han plops down at his side. "Plus, you already let him fuck you. You might as well let him buy you dinner."

Yifan swings his arm out blindly and is pleased to strike Lu Han square in the chest.

 

When Kyungsoo takes Yifan out, he takes Yifan to a nice dinner and then through the park. It's everything Yifan ever wanted—a simple date and a walk under the blank night sky. The street lamps cast a yellow glow over them, softening their skin and shining in their hair. Kyungsoo links their fingers together. When they run out of things to talk about, the silence isn't uncomfortable. When Yifan was young, he used to dream of things like this. He always thought he would be the alpha, a head above his classmates and twice as broad, but be likes how Kyungsoo's thumb smoothing over his wrist feels protective, calming, even though he's shorter and slighter than Yifan remembers from their first night together.

He knows that he should feel happy, so he isn't sure why he can't think of the right things to say. Why he can't just be the good omega he wants to be. It had been so easy when they had sex. If there's one thing Yifan can do, it's spread his legs and take a knot. What he's doing tonight, going on a date with Kyungsoo, is something alien, strange. An opportunity he wasn't prepared for. When Yifan was young, he used to dream of nights like this. Now, his heart is thundering and he feels vaguely sick. Kyungsoo, like the good alpha he is, notices.

"You seem anxious. Are you okay?"

Yifan laughs, staring down at his shoes. "Yes. Sorry." Yifan has never been particularly good with words. If he were a smaller, cuter omega, he wouldn't have to worry. Small, cute omegas don't have to say anything. Being the giant that he is, he finds himself often needing to explain himself but never knowing how. Like now, how does he explain to Kyungsoo that he is enjoying this? That there's something in his head, something uneasy that's twisting him up, making him fret, but now that he's here, he wouldn't be anywhere else in the world?

Kyungsoo interrupts his thoughts by swinging their arms and telling him, "You know if anything's wrong, I'll take care of it, right? You just have to tell me." It's exactly the kind of thing alphas say, good alphas, but Yifan has never had a good alpha. He isn't sure if Kyungsoo is pitying him or teasing him, or god forbid, if he's being _serious_. Yifan's heart continues to thud, hard and dull in his chest. He has to take a deep breath before answering.

"I'll be okay. I'm pretty strong for an omega," Yifan teases, though it's less funny and more cathartic. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to get it.

He smiles and says, "Sure. Almost as strong as me," which sounds ridiculous coming from such a small alpha.

Yifan, who _is_ strong for an omega, or for _anyone_ really, rolls his eyes. _No alpha is perfect_ , he thinks. _If he knew you better, he wouldn't say something like that_. Yifan tells himself these things to keep his irritation at a simmer. It doesn't stop him from speaking out of turn. "You've got a lot of bravado for a guy who couldn't even knock me over."

He knows it's the wrong thing to say even before his feet go out from under him. He's on his back gasping for breath before he knows what hit him, and even when he realizes that it's _Kyungsoo_ , who is still sitting on his chest and pinning him down, he doesn't fully understand until he sees the anger in the alpha's face. Yifan, who has never accidentally aggravated an alpha before, shies away. Kyungsoo holds him fast.

"How would you like it if I told you that nobody likes a six-foot omega?"

Yifan cringes. Kyungsoo's words are simple, honest; in his time on this earth, Yifan has heard insults almost poetic in their brutality, but all the same, Kyungsoo's quick jab is effective. Yifan can acutely remember every alpha who ever said the words _too tall_ to him in that moment; how too many of those alphas had the power to leave him with the hurt that he feels right now. He loved too many of those alphas, sought their validation too ardently, and every one of them turned away because he was _too tall_ or _too butch_ or _too grouchy_.

Kyungsoo continues before Yifan can finish processing his own humiliation. "I've been told my whole life that I'm too small to be an alpha." He stands up, dusting off the knees of his pants. "The last thing I want is to hear that coming from _you_."

Yifan sits up slowly, keeping his gaze low to avoid looking at Kyungsoo. He wouldn't be surprised if Kyungsoo walked away from him right now, left him lying here on the ground. In fact, he's more shocked that he doesn't. Yifan sits there, waiting for Kyungsoo to say something. Finally, he does. "Stand up."

Yifan obeys, keeping his eyes on the ground. When Kyungsoo approaches him, he's short enough that Yifan can almost see his face without even looking up. "Are you okay?" Kyungsoo asks, and Yifan doesn't know what to say. He's not hurt, if that's what Kyungsoo is asking, but he doesn't think it is.

"Fine," he forces, his voice deep and raspy with choked emotion, and Yifan hates it. He hates how deep his voice is, how long his legs are, how big his hands are, how he's supposed to look like Kyungsoo, and how Kyungsoo is supposed to look like him. He _hates_ it. His eyes water and his vision blurs and he tilts his head back to keep it all inside.

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo says. "I shouldn't have—"

"No," Yifan interrupts, blinking furiously and sucking in a deep breath to collect himself. " _I'm_ sorry. I just—I'm not good at…this." He gestures vaguely between the two of them, still incompetent with expressing himself. "I shouldn't have said what I said."

"We both need to figure out how to be a little bit nicer," Kyungsoo adds diplomatically. "If we're going to make this work." He holds out his hand for Yifan to take, and for a moment, Yifan just stares at it dumbly. Kyungsoo waves it in front of him as though Yifan has zoned out, but he hasn't. Yifan raises his eyes to look at him.

"You still want…this?" he asks, struck simple. There has never been an alpha that pushed this hard, weathered this much, stayed this long. Yifan wonders if he wasn't just testing Kyungsoo, seeing how far he could push him before he turned away, just like all the rest of them did. That Kyungsoo is still standing here, still holding his outstretched hand to him, is an unprecedented phenomenon. Yifan thinks he must have hit his head when he was knocked over; this can't be real.

But Kyungsoo, of course, will be the alpha to break the mold. "Yes," he says simply, not bothering with minced words.

"Why?"

Kyungsoo finally lowers his hand. "You get it. Don't you? I mean, what you said just now was dumb." Yifan flushes and looks away, but Kyungsoo reaches up to lift his chin and continues. "But you get it. You know what it's like to not fit what people expect of you."

Yifan smiles weakly, his heart not in it, but Kyungsoo lights up when he sees the effort. "Yeah," he finally says, not having anything else to say. "I do."

"I thought you would know better than other omegas who think that an alpha has to be twice their weight and rabid. Obviously we still have some work to do," Kyungsoo goads, and Yifan almost doesn't rise to the bait this time; when he does, scuffing at the pavement repentantly, Kyungsoo just smiles again. "But I think you're worth it."

Yifan opens his arms, and Kyungsoo steps into them. Even with his head pillowed on Yifan's chest, the arms that he has wrapped around Yifan's waist are strong and grounding. The scent of the alpha against him is clean and deep, almost too subtle to notice, and yet also ubiquitous and overwhelming. Kyungsoo leans back enough to cup his hand against Yifan's cheek. "Besides," he says, "you're really pretty for an omega."

Yifan, who has never heard an alpha say that to him and mean it, preens. Kyungsoo, ever the good alpha, lets him.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from the 2015 round of the yifantasy fest on LJ. Omegaverse is always fun to write, and this even more so because it explores the roles of alphas and omegas outside of how they are normally written and perceived in fandom. Thanks to the prompter for giving me the opportunity to write this fic!


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